Your mater criteria is the most important aspect of your dating success. It is the foundation of your preferences, and in an essence, a reflection of yourself. The term "Opposites attract" hardly ever applies in real world relationships. Of course we are all different in our own ways, but the success rate of relationships with 2 individuals with extreme differences is very low. The previous section I published for Loveawake.comdating site , "Assessing your personality traits & lifestyle", will help you determine your mate criteria. 9 times out of 10, if you approach a girl who appears to be quite opposite from you in a social environment, you will usually fail. The best chance for a successful approach is by identifying a potential mate through the use of mate criteria.
What is mate criteria composed of?
There are several different areas of relevance when determining your mate criteria. Read and fully understand all of the following bullets to help you determine your mate criteria.
Are you a person who always has to have things? Are you always obsessing about having the nicest most expensive things? If so, then you would have best luck with a female who isn't materialistic. "Opposites attract" in this case, does apply. There needs to be an equilibrium in a relationship, a medium in which the female and male both mesh well in. Otherwise, if you find a female who is just as materialistic, most times there will be relationship problems. If you aren't a very materialistic person, it wouldn't hurt to consider a female who likes nicer things WITHIN REASON. We mean "within reason" because we don't want you to misunderstand "a female who likes nicer things" with "a materialistic gold digger". Being the on the extreme opposite of either side concerning materialism is never healthy, that is why finding a mate who is different with materialism can help even things.
· Sex Drive
This one is almost self explanatory. If you're a guy who loves having sex every day, and you're dating a girl who seems to be a cold stone, that is a strong indicator that either she needs to "go" or serious relationship work needs to be exalted. In this case, "Opposites attract" does not usually apply. Think about it, if you're a wild guy who loves having sex all the time in the most peculiar ways, then dating a hometown sweetheart might prove fun and intriguing at first, but in the end most of the time it will not work out. Of course there are exceptions to everything, but in general society such circumstances hardly ever succeed in the long run.
"The quality or condition of being a person." is the definition in which we refer to. There are many different personality types and it can get pretty complex. After acquainting yourself with anyone for a sufficient amount of time, you can usually compare and contrast your personality with theirs. For instance, if you're an ivy league college graduate who has never been in trouble with the law and you decide to date a female who has been in jail 3 times, there's a strong chance it will not work out. "Opposites attract" does and does not apply with personality. For instance, a couple who's personalities are so different that there is always conflict is never healthy. However, a couples who's personalities are moderately different can prove to be healthy for the relationship. So concerning your mate criteria, don't continue a relationship when your mate's personality is too contrasting with your own. You will save yourself and her a lot of heartache.
In the previous section you were able to determine and assess your own lifestyle. "Opposites attract" does not usually apply in this situation. Relationships where both have similar lifestyles have a better chance of success than those who have contrasting lifestyles. If you're dating a female who always seems to be so busy that she can hardly find the time to be with you, it creates for a lot of stress and unhappiness. Of course everyone has to work, but some people have chosen work as a primary aspect of their life. And it is important to base your mate criteria around someone who a lifestyle similar to your own.
Mate Criteria is not an absolute bible that you must follow. It is a rough guideline to help you find someone who will work best for you. Perhaps you are dating someone who seems to match on 3 areas of the mate criteria, but one seems a bit different. Then what you must do is try and WORK with it on her. Perhaps you're dating someone who only matches 1 of the areas of mate criteria. Does this mean it won't work out? No, not at all. If both parties are willing to work out their differences to reach a ground of equal satisfaction, it can definitely work out. Mate criteria is based upon statistical information and should only be considered and used as a rough dating guideline.
When in a relationship can I use Mate Criteria?
You can actually use the ideas of your mate criteria before you approach a potential mate for the first time. Obviously the use will be limited but for example, if you're in a club and you notice a female who appears to have 5 guys groping her in every which way, it would be best to stay away from her if you're not a person consumed by sex. Once again, there are exceptions to everything but if you're looking for a stable relationship and it is obvious that a female is quite different from you then it will most likely fail either in short term, or long term. It is best to use Mate Criteria roughly around the third month of knowing a person. This will vary depending on how often you see her, but on average the three month mark is enough time to correctly assess a person's qualities.
Executing Mate Criteria
If you know your mate well enough to correctly apply the usages of mate criteria, then it is time to take action. If your mate criteria suggests differences in any of the 4 areas, you need to approach her about it. Communication is the key. You have to let her know how you feel and what you want. "Dispute Resolution" will cover this area in much more detail. But if your mate likes or loves you enough, she will work with you and help you reach a state of satisfaction.